Photographic Memory Page 3
Sometimes he wondered if there might not be another way. He knew he was missing out on a lot, but what choice did he have? His dad’s hours had been cut again, and his mom’s clients were trying to cheat her out of her pay, too.
They absolutely depended on the money he sent them. He couldn’t afford to lose his job, and he definitely couldn’t afford to have to move back to Texas and live with them.
He shuffled upstairs and fell into a dreamless sleep, still fully clothed. The next morning, he got up and went to the bank, only to find his in-box had trebled in size. Half of the new volume of work had come from Chad, and for a second he let himself resent it.
Then he got over himself. Chad wasn’t trying to stick him with a higher workload for fun. Chad was helping him out by making him look good in front of their superiors. That was all.
He took a deep breath, sat down, and started work.
He finished at ten o’clock that night. He could have let some of it go until next week, but he hated leaving work behind him. Besides, it would hopefully impress his boss if he came in to find the work already done. And Alex would be able to go on his blind date the next day with a clear conscience.
His roommates were all out for the night by the time Alex got home, for which he was grateful. He wasn’t up to getting another ration of grief about his terrible work-life balance.
The next day, he slept in by several hours. It felt good to wake up when his body decided it was ready, instead of when the alarm told him to. He paid close attention to his grooming, not that he expected anything sexual to happen.
He didn’t even want anything sexual to happen on a first date. He didn’t judge people who had sex with strangers, but it just wasn’t him.
In the later afternoon, he got dressed, in khakis and a casual but nice shirt that showed the contrast between his darkly-tan skin and his light eyes to advantage. He might as well put some effort into today’s adventure, after all. Checking his thick, glossy brown hair, he headed out to catch a train to Kenmore Square.
He’d been kind of nervous about this whole setup, but Devon hadn’t steered him wrong. He’d arranged for Alex to meet up with his date at a little bar not too far from the train station. The bar was more of a pub, and at this time of day it wasn’t too crowded.
The smell of chicken wings reached Alex when he walked in, but it didn’t overpower him. Modern rock played at a good, ambient level in the background, enough to give them something to talk about, but not loud enough to be obnoxious.
For a second, panic threatened to overwhelm Alex. How was he supposed to know who this Jordan guy was? It could be anyone.
There weren’t but three women in the whole pub, and two of them were staff. He gripped his messenger bag and tried to get hold of himself. Maybe Jordan wasn’t even here yet. Maybe Alex was here first, and he could get away with just sitting in the back and waiting for the other guy to figure it out.
Or maybe Alex could sneak off to the office, and get a head start on the week’s work before Jordan showed up at all.
The hostess put a hand on Alex’s arm, making him jump. “Excuse me,” she said with a smile. “Are you Alex Lopez?”
Too late. “That’s me.”
“Your other party is here already. Come with me.” She led him toward the middle of the dining room, to a nice, private little booth where another man waited.
Alex’s jaw dropped. He recognized the heart-shaped face, wild brown hair, and narrow dark eyes right away.
If the look on Jordan’s face was any indication, the other man recognized him, too. “Alex?” he whispered. “It can’t really be…”
“Jordan Davenport.” Alex laughed. “I can’t believe this! How in the world did you get here?” And since when do you like guys?
He kept that part to himself. If Jordan had agreed to come here today, he was either bi or gay. Devon wouldn’t pull a stunt like that, even though he couldn’t have known about Alex’s middle-school crush.
Jordan stood up and threw his arms around Alex. “My family’s from around here, man!” He squeezed a little, and then he pulled back to get a good look at Alex. “When his job at the art center dried up, my dad hauled us back here. How did you get here from Texas, though?”
Alex grinned and slid into the booth. “I got a scholarship to college in town. This is just too wild, Jordan. My roommate sets me up with the guy I had a crush on in middle school?”
Jordan blushed, just a little bit. It was a pretty look on him, and Alex was almost ashamed of how much it affected him. “Yeah, well, imagine my shock! I owe Devon a huge case of beer!”
Alex started to relax. Blind dates weren’t usually something he approved of, but just being around Jordan made him feel warm and happy. Maybe this one time, it would work out after all.
4
Jordan couldn’t tear his eyes away from Alex. When they’d known each other back in Ohio, before Alex’s dad lost his job, Jordan had known Alex was gay. Alex hadn’t had time or space for closets.
Jordan just hadn’t had much time, or thought, for his own sexuality at the time. He hadn’t paid much attention to attraction before puberty found him, preferring to think about art.
Of course, he’d spent a lot of time drawing Alex, even after Alex moved down to Texas. So maybe he’d known more than he thought.
Now, though, Jordan was a grown man. He knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was Alex. The memory of his friend had probably always guided Jordan’s tastes, but now he could see the promise of the boy fulfilled in the man.
He’d grown tall and broad-shouldered. His olive skin was a little paler than Jordan remembered; maybe he wasn’t able to get outside as much as he should. Those startling light eyes hadn’t changed, though. He was still gorgeous.
“So you’re living with Devon?” Jordan said, leaning back and wrapping a hand around his beer. “That’s a trip and a half. You know, I’ve actually been to his — to your — house. I had no idea you lived there. This is just nuts!”
Alex widened his eyes. “You were at the house? That’s — I’d have — well, I’d never have known, to be honest. I’m not at home a lot. I’m at work more often than not.”
Jordan grimaced. “Are you at least doing work in art somewhere? It’s not so bad working all hours of the day, if you can do work you love.”
He remembered Alex’s dad well enough. The guy had been relatively young, but he’d looked thirty years older than he was. He’d been prematurely aged by the need to work as hard as he did, all hours of the day.
It would be a shame for that to happen to Alex’s beautiful face — although he’d probably still be beautiful, even as an old man.
Alex looked away for a second, and toyed with his beer. “I work for a bank,” he admitted. “It’s hard to say you ‘love’ handling institutional investments. But I like the satisfaction of seeing results, and knowing I’m helping people to retire securely somewhere down the road.
“And the pay is decent, you know? It lets me send something back to Mom and Dad. They cut Dad’s hours back at the factory again. It’s good to know that’s not the end of the world, that they’ll still have a roof over their head.”
Jordan looked down. He wasn’t sure how to reply to that. He was glad Alex could help his parents that way.
Parents always thought they could insulate their kids from their troubles, but kids knew. They figured things out, and Alex’s parents’ financial woes had been a big source of stress. Jordan had no right to turn his nose up at Alex for finding a way to alleviate that anxiety, but it still seemed a shame for him to have gone into something as soul-crushing as banking.
“That’s good,” he said, a little uneasily. “I mean I know how much you used to worry about them. Do you still draw, at least?”
Alex’s cheeks darkened a little. “No, not really. I had to give that up when I got serious about school, you know? Only so much time in the day, and if you want to get a scholarship, you can’t afford to take any time a
way from schoolwork. What about you?”
Jordan forced a smile, but he felt like he’d been stabbed. Once upon a time, they’d spent almost all of their time together drawing. “Dude, I focused on photography because you were so much better at drawing than I was! Even my dad had to admit it.”
Alex bowed his head, just a little. “Well, you know how it is. You have to make adjustments sometimes. Things don’t always work out the way we want them to.
“Maybe someday I can get back into the things I used to do, but it’s been a long time. First it was work hard to get that scholarship, then it was work hard to keep it, and then to get that prime job.
“Now it’s work hard to get that next promotion, and prove myself, so I can keep that prime job and keep sending money home. Eventually, I’ll have put enough money aside so that it’s not the end of the world if I lose my job, but right now, I’m not there yet. So I’ve got to keep at it. I’ll get there eventually, you know?”
He lifted his head, and his smile was kind of sad. Jordan was willing to bet he had to make this argument a lot.
And if Alex had to make this argument on a regular basis, he probably didn’t feel great about his situation. He wasn’t going to appreciate getting hassled about it on a date. He’d asked Jordan what he was up to in art, so Jordan changed the subject.
“I’ve been showing and selling my work for a while now. I just had an opening up in Cambridge, and I’m doing pretty well with it. Most of my sales come through photography — I have a studio, and I do some portrait photography as well. It’s a living, you know?”
Alex brightened up a little. “That’s fantastic! I’m so glad you found a way to make your art work for you!” His smile took over his whole body, even his voice. His happiness was sincere. “I know how important it is for you and your family.”
“It really is.” Jordan beamed and let himself be proud for a moment. “I know just how lucky I am. Not everyone is able to afford to take a chance and make a career out of art like I have.
“It gives me the flexibility to work on the causes I care about, too. We just got the City of Boston to pull their funds out of the DAPL. That was a huge win.”
A shadow crossed Alex’s eyes, but he didn’t lose his smile. “You were involved with that? It must have been a great feeling when that news came through.”
“It was. Man, that Charles River Bank has billions sunk into that pipeline, but if we can convince more and more people to pull out of it, they’ll have to divest. Banks won’t do the right thing based on conscience alone, but they’ll do it if it costs them enough money.”
Jordan leaned forward and took a bite of his burger. “It would be great if they would treat big polluters or human rights abusers the same way they do, say, kiddie porn, but we’ll do it the hard way if they won’t do it the easy way.”
Alex bit his lip and took a sip from his beer. “Well, it doesn’t work like that, exactly. It’s not like the CEO of the bank wakes up in the morning, opens the paper, and says, ‘Hey, here’s a reservation, let’s see how I can screw up the lives of those people.’
“The decision to invest in that project is made based on the applicant’s ability to repay — the possible profitability of the project. And the amount of interest being charged on that loan is actually pretty high because of the risks involved.
“The CEO is accountable to the shareholders. If he stops making loans because of the possible consequences, without taking into account the profits that will be made by someone else on that same project, the shareholders are going to revolt.”
Jordan did a double take. “Don’t tell me you approve of him doing business with that pipeline.”
“No. I’m not a fan of the pipeline myself. I think they’ve already demonstrated a pretty careless disregard for the environment, and frankly, for basic construction standards and practices. They’ve had plenty of spills and such to prove this is far too risky.
None of the portfolios I manage are invested in the DAPL. I’ve gone back and forth with my bosses on this, and so far, they’re willing to back me.”
Alex rubbed the back of his neck. “But the CEO can’t just say, ‘I don’t like those guys, and we’re not doing business with them.’ He’s not a king. He answers to other people.
“They’re the ones you have to convince, not the CEO. Who, by the way, is a vegetarian who personally donates a ton of money to environmental groups and Native rights causes — just anonymously.”
Jordan gaped at Alex. Alex would only know that if he knew the CEO personally. “Is the bank you work for Charles River Bank?” He tried not to recoil.
“Yeah. I do. It’s the same bank that funds the floats for Pride every year, the same bank that funds the local HIV center, and the same bank that bought laptops for every public school student in the city of Boston this year.”
Alex set his jaw. “Banks aren’t saints, and they’re not supposed to be. I know our bank does its best to make money for its shareholders while being a force for good in the community. I’m reasonably proud to work there, over, say, one of the biotech firms.”
Jordan swallowed hard and changed the subject, moving to Alex’s life in Texas instead. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment in his old friend for being involved with Charles River Bank in any way.
Alex could blather on all he wanted about the bank doing good in the community — and Jordan would definitely fact-check him about the projects the bank was involved with — but at the end of the day, they were just bad people. They put profits over people, every time, and they had to be stopped.
But it wasn’t Alex’s fault. Alex was a good guy, but it didn’t sound like he had the luxury of walking away from corporate life. He had no choice but to get involved with a life of wage slavery, but he’d forgotten a lot of what had been important to him once in his pursuit of financial stability.
Maybe it was fate that had brought him and Jordan together again. Maybe Jordan had an opportunity now. Jordan could fight the evil corporations by saving Alex.
It wouldn’t exactly be a hardship. Alex was beautiful, and driven. He’d always been talented. If Jordan could help him to remember what life was like before he’d given everything to a faceless bank, who knew what potential he might hold?
They moved their discussion onto more general topics. When they finished their meal, they got up and went for a walk. Normally Jordan wasn’t a fan of walking around in the Back Bay or Newbury Street, but hanging around with Alex drove all thoughts of rampant consumerism and shallow wealth away.
They stopped for an ice cream, and Jordan pulled out his phone. “I’d really like to see you again,” he told Alex, bringing up his calendar. “I can’t believe it’s just coincidence Devon set us up like this. It’s got to be fate or something, right?”
“Sure,” Alex laughed. “Fate or something. But I’d definitely like to see you again.”
He blushed again. His blush was so pretty, more of a darkening of his skin than anything else. “How does next Thursday work for you? They’re doing scheduled maintenance on our servers, so I literally have to take the night off. It’s kind of awesome.”
Jordan checked his calendar. “Sounds great,” he said, and then he frowned. “Oh, wait. Can’t do it, I have an action scheduled for Immigration Action of New England. How does Friday work?”
“I won’t get out of work until nine, but I can probably meet up with you downtown, if that’s okay.” Alex scratched his head. “I thought you were protesting the DAPL?”
“I am.” Jordan tilted his head to the side, and then quickly lapped at an escaping bit of rocky road ice cream that was escaping from his cone. “I can believe in more than one cause at once.”
“Of course.” Alex smiled a little. “Say, Friday night, nine-thirty, at Silvertone’s?”
“Sounds awesome.” Jordan had to be glad Alex hadn’t asked about other nights, or even about what Jordan was going to be up to earlier on Friday. If Alex thought involvement
in two causes was weird, he’d definitely balk at the number of projects Jordan had on his calendar this week alone.
Not that Jordan shouldn’t be working toward every single one of them. Jordan had a privileged life, and he knew it. Since he had that life, it was his responsibility to work hard to make the world better for other people.
Alex would understand that in time, but Jordan would have to work up to it. They’d get there, eventually.
5
Alex rubbed at his temples and yawned. He’d been at work until midnight last night. It hadn’t been fun, and he hadn’t wanted to do it, either.
What he’d wanted to do was to go home and get some sleep, but they’d gotten a bunch of paperwork for a new client and it absolutely had to get done right away. The new guy still wasn’t up to speed, and Alex’s boss was on this “teamwork” kick, so no one could leave until everyone’s part had been played right.
He felt sorry for Colby, the new kid. The poor guy had only started that week, and the guy who’d been intended to train him had his mind on his new job instead of showing his successor the ropes. Alex wound up stepping in to help Colby out, just to get them out the door while the trains were still running. It had to hurt, being the reason everyone was there so late, but not having the skills to do anything to stop it.
He jumped when a stack of folders landed in his in box. He followed the tall column of paperwork up until he found Chad’s grinning face at the top.
Alex had loved that face once, back in college. They were better off as friends, but Alex had resented the way Chad had broken it off with him at the time. Now he just resented the reams of paper Chad dumped into his life.
Not that he had any right to resent them. Chad had been instrumental in Alex getting this job, and if he hadn’t helped Alex to get this promotion, he’d eat his shoe. “Hey, Chad. Thanks for those. Any deadline?”
“Not really. The sooner the better, like always. You never know who’s watching.”